Why
by Stabler 'n' Gibbs' Gurl
Summary: Song Fic. Song By Rascal Flatts . A death of a loved one causes Gibbs to rethink the importance of a song. WARNING! : MAJOR DEATH and slight hint of slash. *Honest* ..:r&r:..


Disclaimer: sadly i do not own ncis *pout* but i love borrowing them. WARNING!!! : HINT OF SLASH!!! & MAJOR CHARATER DEATH!!! don't forget to check the bottom ^_^

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The funeral last 4 and a half hours, the burial, 3. The day was perfect, almost as if he had planed to have it on this day; the sun shining gracefully and the sky made for a king. His death made the world seem one beautiful morning and breathless night shorter. It happened on the job, two bullets designed to pierce armored vans slammed past his vest and into him, one in his stomach, and the other centimeters away from his heart. They had gotten to him as the blood started to stain the dirt covered cement and a painful cough brought it to his lips as well. They tried to stop the bleeding, but he knew it was too late, as did they, but they couldn't give up. Not on him. _Just hold on_, that's what they kept telling him as the wailing sound of the ambulance neared them but his eyes started to drip closed. A violent shake made his eyes slowly pull back open and a weak smile turned into a grimace as a yell shot threw him, making him try to sit up against the pain. _Ju-Just end it-t, pl-pleas-AHHH!_ His plead made their skin turn frozen with disbelief and shock as another painful shout creased their ears and soul. _Be-Besides, I was-s told I-I nev-never would cut out-t to liv-ve this long-g anyw-way._ A soft smack crossed his face and was brought back to look into the eyes of his team. None of them knew why he had said it, but it was too late. The owner of the hands gripping his jaw turned back at the rest of the team, tears and sobs broke out amongst them and he looked back at the bleeding person in front of him. _Please…_He whisper, the whisper to stay, and it hurt him much more knowing that this was what he wanted. _I'm sorry…Jet…_A sob made him look away and he saw his team through bleary eyes as he looked back to see the unfocused ones of his partner, friend, and love. Anthony DiNozzo.

White and yellow and pink roses decorate the stained oak coffin as rows and rows of people try and fail to hold back their cries. Millions of friends from schools, distant family member's, old flames and co-workers lined the cemetery and, occasionally, he would see military families and soldiers that they had helped, paying their respects to the man who, in no doubt, put his life on the line to save them in more ways than one. His team and he were last inline, behind the family who he had died for. He must agree that it was the most honorable case to die for, in order to save the little girl that was now standing before the sarcophagus. Her parents, who had walked some steps ahead, had stopped and looked back, watching their little girl, tears falling rapidly. Gibbs had stopped the team as he stood and watched her small hands danced across its smooth surface and a smile graced her delicate pink lips. _Thank you, Mister._ Her voice, sweet as honey, as she bent down and kissed the casket before producing a white and yellow daisy with a pink ribbon around it from behind her back. She tried to place it on the top, but the harder she tried the worse it got. Smiling, he picked her up and placed her on his hip, her yellow and pink sun dress crinkling against his black suit. Her face lit up, a tiny scar below her right eye barely visible, and she placed the flower down on the top of the pile. Placing her down, he smiled as she skipped back to her mother and father, hugging them both. Looking back up, he watched as McGee and Ziva placed yellow roses on the bed and hung back as Abby placed a lily on the side. Gerald and Jimmy stayed back with McGee as they watched Ducky placed his own on the top. They all watched in a saddened silence as Gibbs stepped back up and stood tall in front of it, his black suit making his eyes icy with grief. He placed the only red rose right next to the daisy and watched as his own tears mixed in with its colors, bringing it to a shine. _Why Tony, why now, why did you want to go…?_ He whispered as a sob broke threw and he stepped back looking at how Tony's soul will rest besides Kate's. _Semper Fi_.

Two days later, when everyone was to report back to work, it was as if life was on stand still. They were removed from the roster, paper work barely fazing them as the abnormal silence made it almost deafening to deal. Standing abruptly, after his final nerve crack with the last condolence giver, Gibbs walked swiftly to the back elevator, pushing the button for Abby's lab. On the smooth way down made his mind wander back to the first time they finally told each other about their thoughts and emotions. A small smile played with the edges of his lips as the memory of the two of them trying to gain dominance but ended up with his back up against the wall. The ding brought him back to his heart-breaking reality as an unrecognizable genre was coming from the lab. Stepping in he realized it wasn't rock nor metal, jazz or blues, but country. Rascal Flatts, he believed. Finding her cuddled in her office chair behind her desk, Bert and Tony's leather Armani jacket around her, the lyrics sunk in as his hands laid gently on her shoulders.

_It must a been a place so dark, couldn't feel the light  
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud  
Now here we are gathered in our little home town  
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd  
_

"_**Ju-Just end it-t, pl-pleas-AHHH**__"_ Tony's words sent a deathly shiver up his spine as this mind thought back to his blood covering his hands as they begged him to stay with them. The defeat and pain in his normal mischievous eyes would haunt his dreams and nightmares.

_  
Oh why that's what I keep askin'  
Was there anything I could have said or done  
Oh I had no clue you were masking a __troubled soul__, god only knows  
What went wrong and why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song  
Mmmmmmm  
_

"_**Be-Besides, I was-s told I-I nev-never would cut out-t to liv-ve this long-g anyw-way.**__" _Abby's soft hand covered his and, by tells signs of the shaking, silent tears were rolling down her face as well. His heart hurt with sorrow as he tried to think why he wanted to die. "…Why…?" but yet again his mind wandered…

_  
Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old  
Rounding third to score the winning run  
You always played with passion no matter what the game  
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun_

A smile threatened to break as he remembered the first time he saw Tony outside of work, excluding the times he had to stay over because if his apartment, and the first time he realized he something was there. He could still hear the cheering from inside the park as he rounded the corner to see a men's baseball game starting back up after time at the pitcher's mound. He looked up in time to see his copper locks be pushed underneath a black and silver helmet and taking a black Louisville Slugger before stepping up to the plate. He smirked as he slide in beside the bleachers and watched as the pitcher threw one nasty curveball and caught him in the knuckles. He grimaced with the rest at the sound of the sickening crack but watched in amazement as he laughed, tossed the bat and jogged down to first. Two strike outs later and he was on third baiting the catcher into a throw down and slid into home, knocking his feet out underneath of him. After a couple one-two-three innings, he was back up at bat and had a full count. Gibbs, also like the rest or the random onlookers, sat anxious as another curve was thrown but stared as it made a cracking sound, wooden shards going everywhere, and next thing he knew, Tony was rounding third and slide back into home, making them win 17-16. Gibbs clapped along with the rest as Tony laughed and joked, hugged and high-fived his teammates like they were teenagers again. 30 minutes later, Tony sat on the deserted bench, shirt over his bare shoulder and everyone long gone. He zipped up his bag and smiled before turning towards the bench and looking at Gibbs for the first time. Walking over, he hit the metal with his good knuckles and Gibbs almost melted at the sight of pure pleasure and fun in them, shining like stars. _You might need to come more often._ He joke had the smallest hint of flirtiness as he turned towards his car. _See ya at 0600 tomorrow._ He called out. _0800, DiNoz-Tony. You earned it. _He shouted back. Gibbs squeezed Abby's hand as he remembered walking in at 0550 and Tony being there.

_  
Oh why, that's what I keep askin'  
Was there anything I could have said or done  
Oh I had no clue you were masking the troubled soul, oh god only knows  
What went wrong and why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song  
Yeah yeah yeah  
_

_Why Gibbs? Why is it always Tony?_ Abby sobbed into his chest. The same things were running through his mind only others were added. _What made it so okay with you to die, Tony? Why did you want to die?_

_  
Now the __oak trees__ are swayin' in the early autumn breeze  
The __golden sun__ is shining on my face  
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing  
This old world really ain't that bad a place  
_

_I have so many…so, so many question and not enough answers. And I always have answers, Gibbs, always. Maybe it was his dad's visit…_ Abby muttered between sobs and cries.

_  
Oh why there's no comprehending  
And who am I to try to judge or explain  
Oh but I do have one burning question  
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight_

_His father came…? Why didn't I hear about this? That might need some checking on… _Gibbs thought as his own tears poured out and stained Abby's baby blue shirt.

They were wrong  
They lied

_Tony always did want to see you in light baby blue._ Gibbs said but the laugh came out more like a sob and Abby couldn't help but chuckle-sob too.

_And now you're gone  
And we cried  
Cause It's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song_

_  
_Finally, Abby just let go, her knees buckled beneath her and they both collapsed on the ground, tears flowing rapidly. Sobs ripped apart them both and they buried themselves in each other. _God, I miss him. So damn much, Gibbs…_Abby whispered

_  
Your __beautiful song_

_Me too, Abby…_Gibbs whispered back, his voice hoarse and grave. He closed his eyes and an image of Tony's mischief eyes danced then flashed to his hollow, unfocused ones and another cry busted threw. _Me too…_

_  
Your absolutely beautiful song_

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**Sooooooooo ......... ????? what did you think?? should i give up writing for NCIS fics orr stay ?? review are COMPLETELY welcome =] =] .. oh and check out my like first ever NCIS story** _But He's Still Gone_. please and thanks


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